great value cut-price dvd action hour #1

'I'd say we're looking up a dead horse's rectum Norm!'

Presenting the first of an infrequently updated series where I pay tribute to the very best finds found upon the DVD shelves of charity shops wherever I happen to find them. Films loaded up to the gills with pure cut-price testosterone. Films where men are men and production values are low to middling at best. The great value quality aisle of the action movie world. Those humble titles that just don't get no respect or enough appreciation for their distinctive DVD box art. 

Not saying this will be a showcase of quality action cinema mind you but let's see what we have here...

With an almost alarming consistency, films not dissimilar to Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target populate charity shop shelves nationwide. You know them almost before you even see them up close. To a tee, the DVD covers follow a very reliable formula I think. Loud explosions feature predominantly alongside louder typefaces. Some very serious and very sweaty men are photoshopped into said explosions with varying degrees of skill and there are always bonus points for hilariously over-sized weapons, ships or tanks in the background as well. Along those lines Hollywood DVD has provided us with a visual treat here long before the disc is inserted into your DVD player and all for a steal at £1!

These are films that very likely saw no wide release, theatrical or otherwise. The epitomy of what was once termed straight to video or straight to DVD but which would be straight to streaming now. Films designed for the mid-afternoon or early evening section of the TV schedules if they made it that far at all and didn't just go straight to home release. Such is the case here i imagine with this humble effort. Truthfully my hopes are not high. More importantly I hear you ask, what is the plot of Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target Dave? Going by the blurb on the back cover alone, let's get some initial impressions...

Explosive high octane hullabaloo ensues as the war on drugs is fought in the stars! Actually I'd totally watch that film, but that film is not this film. Rather in this case an assembly of the world's foremost ass-kickers are called in to face off against the united forces of crime! This undeniable force of ill-intent has come together to make a move on the US government because they launched an anti-drug satellite called ISIS ONE to ruin their day and/or their business. 

You read that right an anti-drug satellite, a satellite that can detect illegal drug stashesm Not sure why that specific remit tickles me. General reconnaissance and aerial photography could be used to do a lot of things but here it finds drug stashes and nothing else it seems. That's government efficiency for you I guess?

Back in 1999 it was probably more of a novelty. Actually no that's not true, satellites were all the rage back then and plentiful as plot devices in popular culture. They were always getting launched, stolen and hijacked. It's just the way it was in that most perfect of decades. We're not here to consider any of that however, we're here to see what the Delta Commando team can do to combat these ruthless barons of crime as they target New York for a heinous chemical attack.

Of course I shouldn't jest this might be an all-time classic I am unfairly maligning here with my faint praise? A cinematic effort on par with Commando or Under Siege perhaps? Probably not on a level with The Terminator or Predator though, that might be too much to hope for. Let's take a glance at the calibre of talent we have on offer here.

Directed by Mark Roper who has an extensive IMDB profile. He worked on the first two Operation Delta Force films and directed the fourth. He also directed Human TImebomb, Warhead and a couple of episodes of Peak Practice of all things, a long-running British TV series from the nineties and early-noughties. Safe to say this man has had a varied career.

Operation Delta Force 3 also features the acting talents of Jim Fitzpatrick whose own IMDB profile highlights his role as 'NORAD Technician' in Armageddon but has starred in a zillion other things as well. Also Bryan Genesse who I feel I have seen elsewhere in films very much like this one. His IMDB page notes that he starred in 180 episodes of daytime soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful, a film called Death Train and the always reliable Cyborg Cop III. 

I would be remiss if I left out Greg Collins here too. I am absolutely sure I've seen that grizzly visage elsewhere but again I can't name any obvious films off the top of my head. Armageddon comes up again in his back catalogue alongside The Rock and a litany of bit parts throughout film and TV going back decades. Maybe I know that face through sheer cultural osmosis? Anyhow I have further films to watch for future blog posts but back to this one.

Is it any good? Well lacking foresight as I do I didn't actually think to buy the DVD you see pictured at the top. i was obviously too awestruck by the aforementioned box art to actually commit a whole single pound of British currency towards this film. Luckily for me the internet has come to the rescue, specifically Youtube. So not only will I watch said film for the purpose of brief review I will share the joy right here so you can watch it alongside me. I know, I know, don't thank me...

Now by the time you're reading this I will have already watched the thing so I'll give you a moment whilst I gaze at what I assume was the VHS box cover and the expert use of the font more commonly used on the screens of LCD calculators...

Spoilers ahoy!

So what's the verdict?

Well I guess you know the type of film it's going to be within moments of starting it. We're zooming between Columbia, the Pentagon and deep space within moments before proceeding to some fairly unambitious action fare. Much lambasting of the bureaucrats in Washington then follows alongside much mention of the then current war on drugs. Incompetent leadership at the top whilst the good, honest men below put their lives on the line for Uncle Sam! Lots of gunfire, very little blood. Many explosions, little aftermath. 

It's serviceable stuff on a modest budget. More comfortable with gun violence than strong language. The sort of thing you would find whilst randomly browsing the little watched 'classic' movie channel on free TV. In short, its what I expected. Not bad, not good, very much content to fill a gap in the schedule back when people cared about TV schedules. Naturally I had my action movie checklist at the ready but what did I tick off?

Classic 90's style movie hacking done by less than classic 90's movie hackers? Check! Implausibly placed killer chefs able to incapacitate an entire navy submarine crew with poison gas? Check! Swearing vengeance on drug lords responsible for the death of your buddy? Check! The gang walking in slow motion towards the camera whilst a helicopter hovers in the background? That's a check baby! Somewhat dodgy Hispanic accents, that's also a check! A soundtrack that's fairly by the numbers except for that one point where it gets all choral and sounds like something out of Metal Gear Solid? Your check is in the mail!

There's a half decent attempt at a scene with a moving train and helicopters that unfortunately falls flat in the execution. The eponymous Delta Force all generally act, look and sound the part and the big end sequence generates some tension despite it being mostly centred around slow manoeuvres in a submarine. So there's that going for it but really not much else. There is however a definite sense of the motions here and the film going through them one by one. More out of a sense of obligation than anything else really. Not many bold, stylistic choices on offer here, everyone on board with this knew their job and committed to it but only within the strict limits of daytime TV action. Yes of all the films I have seen, this was truly one of them. The verdict is two virus bombs out of five!

On that explosive finale, that's about it for this one. Quite possibly the best random blog post you will read about Operation Delta Force 3 in 2023 dare I say? Dare I seek out the rest of the series? Can I dare not to? You know i think I can but I will leave that an open question for now. The more pressing question here is would I be better off watching Cyborg Cop III perhaps? Maybe I just stick to random ass films I find in charity shops instead? Answers below please...